Lost

I know. It was wrong. But I couldnt help it. It took me by the hand and led me straight to it. I should have stopped. I should have remembered. But I didnt.

I closed my eyes and covered my ears and I let myself go. I did everything I felt like doing: I bit, licked, sucked and grabbed and it still didnt fulfill my desire. I wanted more. I looked into my mind and took all those things I used to imagine laying on my bed, trying to get some sleep; or the ones I used to practice in front of the mirror, with some music in the backround. I took them all and I performed one more time, in front of my single audience.

I know. I shouldnt have. But I did. I promised myself I would.

I did it and I loved how it felt. I took off the cover shield and I FELT for the first time. My mind was off and I was allucinating. Taking this twosided drug as it led me to the bottom: Love-pain, love-pain, love....

I sighed as it was comming to the end. I couldnt take it any longer but still I wanted it to go on forever. I wanted to reach my Nirvana and find the way back in a moment.

I didnt and now, Im more lost than ever...

Iana
1:14 am
Sunday Feb 12, 2006